Joanna and the dogs

This is yesterday morning, as described by my sister Joanna. After reading it, I couldn't stop laughing.

Okay, the story about the dogs is pretty funny. Cameron and Ella were over this morning and I'm lounging around in my pajamas, waiting until they leave so I can take a shower. Mom, however, is fully dressed (this is important later). We're downstairs, Ella is on Mom's computer and Cameron's just sort of walking around. All of a sudden, Gretchen and Austin break out in this barking frenzy. Mom exclaims "Oh, there's a squirrel in the backyard." I can't see it but the dogs keep barking and barking and it's getting really annoying. I egg Mom on "C'mon, just let them out. They can't do anything." 

 Mom, on her own volition and FREE AGENCY, opens the door. * This is also very important *

 Gretchen and Austin, at breakneck speed, dash across the patio, RUN OVER Mom's little wire fence that wouldn't keep anything out, and then up the steps. Gretchen is wriggling under the wooden fence in the back before it has hit Mom what really is happening. She freaks out as she realizes Gretchen is on the OTHER side of our property and at the same time, Austin is leaving his mark all over the kids play area.

 I'm just laughing. 

 Mom puts on Dad's shoes and clumps across the frozen patio, screaming "Gretchen?! Austin?! Treat?!? Ride!?! Green bean!?!? CARROT!?!?" The last word was with a particular note of desperation as Gretchen is clearly not interested in what Mom is saying. Austin, his first and foremost thoughts always on food, comes trotting obediently into the house.

 I'm starting to feel bad for Mom at this point.

 I start yelling at Gretchen and now with two adults screaming desperately about treats and carrots and you better come inside, she slowly makes her way back down the steps, over the broken gate, and into the house.

 Mom closes the door and doesn't speak to me.

 I start laughing again.

 Me: "C'mon, you can't be mad at me for that."

Mom: "I am so mad."

Me: "I didn't know they would do that."

Mom: "Yes, yes you did. And I nearly broke my neck with Dad's shoes on that patio."

Me: "They were never in any danger."

Mom: "Gretchen got on the other side of the fence!" (apparently this is equal to when the Cubans crossed the 43rd parallel in the Cuban Missile Crisis)

Me: "It was funny!"

Mom: "You kept telling me they'd be okay..." And then she was off on plans on further fortifying the backyard against the dachshund escaping.

 Gretchen and Austin got their treats. And because Cameron had been there the whole time and kept hearing the word "Treat!" yelled over and over, he wandered into the kitchen, wondering where his treat was.

 Mom put him in the high chair with a granola bar.

 I sat back on the couch, still laughing.

 Best. Morning. Ever.