The Suspense Is Over

I  have watched endless scenes, in the movies, on television, the random fan video on youtube and of course, read about it. But its never happened to me. Until last night. Well actually this morning. And after all that, all the "knowledge" I gained from all those valid sources, I was left with the question of "that's it?" Not that it was a bad experience, just not what I was expecting.  I wasn't planning on it happening, but it did. And I really need to move on. I spent an entire Saturday stressing about it, worrying that I did it wrong, that I am bad person, that I led the other person on. Am I over analyzing this whole situation? To everyone else I spoke with, my sister, my mom, my best friend, they all laughed and said it will get better.  I questioned their laughter and got the answer that they were laughing because I said the experience was "gross." Yes. It was. Just a little. They don't show that in the movies. They don't explain what to do with your hands, what you should be thinking. They tend to leave out a lot of details I would have found very useful.  But life is not a movie. Not matter how much I want it to be. I will not be swept off my feet nor will I fall head over heels. And if I do, I will be pleasantly surprised instead of wondering what I was hoping for. Because that's what happened here. I don't blame the other person, they knew what they were doing (at least I think they were) and yeah, I kind of opened the gate to the whole situation. But I didn't know what was behind that gate. Honestly. Did. Not. Know. And now I do. And again, I need to move on. When I watch the movie scene and when I read that vital paragraph, I will think "that is so not how it is." Because really. It was just a kiss.